A Spark and the Dark

I really just need an outlet to gather my thoughts.  My family has some decisions to make that will possibly change the course of our life.  I'm sure its not as groundbreaking and earth shattering to anyone else, but for me and my little family of four it is.  It's stepping out in faith.  Faith which is so difficult for me right now. 


The last four or so years have felt like a tightrope walk through dense fog and forest.  Often we've ended up on trails that seem to have taken us off our targeted path.  We've taken twists and turns with courage and even excitement at times to only find that we made little progress along the actual road.  We've looked to God for direction and have stepped out in more ways than I can list here and are still waiting for miracles and answers to some really long sought out questions.  On the outside it appears as compromise or even giving up, but that couldn't be further from the truth.  We still press on, but our zeal is waning.  I know God has set fire within us for a passion for certain things, but while it is taking forever for those things to be realized, my faith is in great distress.


I want to have faith that can move the mountains.  Yet I feel the only thing happening is as I pray for the mountain to move a pebble may fall and now I have two mountains instead of one.  And as this has happened over and over again the mountains in my way are overwhelming.  I know what my God can do.  I know He is the Almighty.  While I know these things, it is hard to cling to them when I feel that God is so far from me. 


I know the problem here is me, not God.  But honestly I don't know what else I can do to reach out to my Creator for answers.  I'm sure I need to unclog my earthly ears so I can hear clearly, but with my crazy busy mom of two kids ordinary life that is so much easier to write than actually do.  I'm sure that is an excuse to. 


Does anyone know what I'm talking about?  Can anyone relate?  Am I the only one out there?


I'm pressing on...on my knees.  I don't know what the next day will hold, but I'm going to pray my way through it knowing that if I'm seeking Him I won't be lead astray.  Maybe it will make sense in the end, and maybe it won't, but I have to keep that little spark of faith even if it makes no sense to me.  Until my answers come I'm going to cling to this "The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps." Proverbs 16:9.  Whatever my heart plans, may the LORD establish the correct steps to lead me to Him.

Every Life is Beautiful

Aaron & I are huge advocates for LIFE.  We have been blessed beyond measure with our two children.  I seriously couldn't imagine my LIFE without them.  Getting pregnant does not come easy to us, and we have had to say good-bye to two children through miscarriage.  The grief and heartbreak of such a loss is more than I can put into words.  These experiences, both the joy and sorrow, have led us to realize that every LIFE is beautiful.  Through this realization our hearts have been opened to giving LIFE to those who need it, so we are planning to adopt within the next few years.

We have made a commitment to stand up for LIFE in every opportunity that comes our way.  The recently release move October Baby deals with the issues of abortion, adoption, LIFE, and the gift of forgiveness.  From its website this is what is said about the movie;  "With its powerful, compelling story of a young woman who was adopted by loving parents after a failed abortion attempt, OCTOBER BABY will remind moviegoers that every life is beautiful. As it does, the movie will open eyes and hearts to the sanctity of life."  We just viewed the movie last week and it was amazing!  I definitely recommend that you watch it.  Part of the movie's agenda is the Every LIFE is Beautiful campaign.  There are stories of abortion survivors, the beauty of adoption, children with disabilities, healing after an abortion, LIFE, and death.  Each video is just 1-3 minutes and is so worth your time.  You will be blessed I promise!  Please check it out here at everylifeisbeautiful.com.  If you'd like more information about the movie as well there is a link to it from the website.  Please join me in standing up for LIFE and showing others that every LIFE is beautiful.

Death

Yesterday I had an 'aha' moment.  Of course it came through the children's curriculum at church, but however God chooses to reveal Himself to me I'm good with.  Let's face it sometimes I need the elementary teaching to "get it."  I hope I can convey my thoughts clearly enough for what few readers I have.  I am in no way a theologian, so this is simply my interpretation of scripture and what I felt the Lord was trying to show me.  I pray that it benefits you and brings you closer to Him.

The children at our church are doing The Gospel Project on Wednesday evenings and today's lesson was about how sin entered the world.  When put in the garden, Adam is warned not to eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil for on the day he does he will surely die (Gen. 2:15-17 KJV).  If you are familiar with the story you know that the snake comes and tempts Eve, she eats the fruit and then gives some to Adam who also eats the fruit.  Put simply, they disobey God and sin enters the world.  Jumping ahead a little they are confronted by God of their sin and He punishes them each and then in Genesis 3:22 God sends them out of the garden so they may not eat of the tree of life and live forever.  

That is were the WOW comes in.  God loved them enough that He gave them death.  I know, where is the good part in death?  Here is the beauty of it.  When they ate the forbidden fruit they became sinners.  If they were to eat from the tree of life they would have been sinners FOREVER.  Eternal separation from God.  What could be worse?  By eating the fruit of the tree of life it wouldn't have made them better or erased what they had done.  Instead it would have made their spiritual condition permanent.  God loved them far too much for that to happen, so He sends them away from the garden, which was a sentence to death.  

Growing up death was probably the scariest thing for me.  The eternal separation of someone I loved sounded terrifying to me.  The Lord has delivered me of that fear, and while I am not eager for death, yesterday I saw the gift that death offers.  God's presence.  A chance to be reunited with Him.  A chance that would not have happened had He not sent them out of the garden.  Do you see the correlation?  God couldn't stand the idea of being separated from us, so death is the way back to Him.  A chance to leave a sinful world and be covered by the blood of Christ, another necessary death for us to be reconciled to Him.  A chance for forgiveness.  Romans 8:35 says "Who can separate us from the love of Christ?" NOTHING!  Not even death (Romans 8:37-39).  It is through Christ's death that our death has any meaning at all.  Any purpose.  If we are covered in Christ's blood then with our death comes reconciliation to the Father.  What a beautiful picture of His love for us.  He sent Christ to die so that our death would bring us back to Him.  

However the ball is still in our court.  Christ offered the perfect sacrifice, but we have to receive it and believe on Him.  If you are unsure if you are covered by Christ and whether you will be eternally separated from God or eternally reconciled to God please check out the following here.  May I see you all in His presence that glorious day!

Proud to be an American

This weekend is the 10th anniversary of the September 11th attacks on America. I say America because it wasn't just the World Trade Center, the Pentagon, the people of New York, or politicians. It was an attack on all of us. An attack on the ideals, values, and freedom that America is built upon. It is true that life goes on, and it must, but to forget is a travesty. To forget means to forget about those that perished in the attack, those that gave of themselves to save those they could, and those that volunteered to risk their lives to protect our freedom. It means to forget those that have fought at any time for the freedoms we continue to enjoy today. It means to forget the the sacrifice.

As I was driving today I noticed that many schools, fire houses, and places of business had OUR flag flying at half mast this weekend. It moved me. Reminded me that patriotism is still alive. Reminded me that although it seems as though many of us have forgotten what it means to be an American that there are some who have not forgotten.

I guess I wanted to write this to simply say that I have not forgotten. I haven't forgotten that we are fighting a worthy war. I haven't forgotten the men and women, my friends and family, that are protecting my freedoms on a daily basis. I haven't forgotten that we are built on the principles of God. A holy God. The one and only true God. I haven't forgotten the blessings that He has poured out upon us. Day after day. Year after year. We don't deserve His favor, but He shows it anyway.

On this 10th anniversary I ask you to remember. Say a prayer for our service men and women. Thank God for all that He has given you. Given us. Given our country. Ask Him to continue to watch over us. May His peace be with you and your families. God bless you and God bless the USA!

Radical

This book is challenging me to my core. I can't wait to see what God is going to do.

LIFE

This past Friday we participated in the Right to Life / Together for Life Memorial Walk on the steps of the state capital with Georgia Right to Life. This was our 3rd year to participate, and every year it hits me to my core. Abortion is real. It happens everyday...several times a day. It is so prevalent in our society, yet so secret at the same time. Many women choose abortion because it is an easy answer to a situation they didn't plan for; however, in its aftermath it brings destruction through heartache, fear, guilt, shame, unworth, disappointment, and judgment. I long to see the day when abortion is illegal, but more importantly I long for the day when women choose LIFE over an easy out whether it is legal or not. I pray that the Lord will raise up families to adopt children that were given the chance to live. I pray that the Lord will change the heart of our nation and political leaders to see that abortion an ugly reality. I pray that the Lord would send revival upon us and end abortion forever. Until that day comes, I ask you to join me in prayer that the Lord will bring an end to abortion in America, and raise up people to be His hands and feet in this battle against evil. May His will be accomplished and His glory reign.

For more information you can visit the Georgia Right to Life website.

God, End Abortion and Send Revial to America!

He Knows Every Word

Levi knows every word to this CD, and if theres going to be a CD that he knows word for word then I couldn't pick a better one. I'm honestly blessed each time I hear him singing praises to his heavenly father.

Last night as Levi was saying his prayers before bed he and Aaron had this conversation. Levi: "Does Jesus talk to me?" Aaron: "He sure does. He talks directly to you. Will you listen to Him when He speaks to you?" Levi: "Please!" (Please is Levi's way of saying yes). This ministered so much to my heart. We work really hard to teach our kids about God, and to see that my two year old is listening to what we are teaching encourages me to continue doing what we are doing.

What's In A Name?

A LOT! Aaron and I take the names of our children very seriously. Maybe a little too seriously, but we want our children to know that they were named for very specific reasons with God, love, and family in mind. We like to use Biblical names for their first name and family names for the middle name. Everyone has been asking me about the name of our little girl and until recently we hadn't decided on a name for her. Right before our trip to Texas we decided on a name and I've commented on the name in my previous post in the comment section, but for those of you dying to know what name we've chosen for out little girl and haven't read those comments - here it is...

Naomi Elizabeth

Naomi is Hebrew for Beautiful or Gentle. Elizabeth is Hebrew for God is my oath. We always have stories behind our kids names so here is the story behind her name. Aaron and I were both hoping for a little boy (I know what woman wouldn't want a little girl - but I am different). When we found out we were having a girl we were slightly disappointed, but the anticipation of her arrival has brought so much excitement to our lives. We were wrestling between two names when a few weeks ago Aaron was listening to the radio and heard an interview with a man. In the interview the man was speaking of how they had an unexpected addition to their family and what a beautiful blessing it had been. We already knew that Naomi meant beautiful, but we had only looked at it from one perspective - a physical beauty. We had entirely overlooked the beautiful spiritual aspect from God. Having a little girl is going to be an entirely new adventure for us. Her coming into our lives is going to be a beautiful blessing to our entire family. Now we see beautiful in a new way. Not only will she be full of physical beauty (I mean how could she not be the most beautiful girl in the world?), but she is going to bring a beauty to our family we've never imagined before. Her middle name Elizabeth is also special to us because we are naming her after my great-grandmother. Grannie Bone has been such an example of a godly woman to us, and has led our family in faith for so many years. She celebrated her 90th birthday 2 weeks ago and we wanted to honor her in this way. We are so blessed and so excited to meet our new baby girl! {If you don't know the story behind Levi's name I'll try and post it in the next couple of weeks.}

Family Worship

We have been reading this book for our small group at church, and all I have to say is WOW! We are only about halfway through the book and it has already challenged me in so many ways about how I parent as a Christian. I'll keep all my nuggets of knowledge for another post once I finish the book, but I wanted to share something we've started in our family. Part of the book talks about family worship. Family worship is basically just what is says - time during the day when the family worships the Creator together. We do ours in the evening for about 10 minutes. We read a devotion, a passage or story from scripture, pray, and sing songs. It has been a challenged to do this every night because of our schedules sometimes, but realizing the importance of it we try to schedule everything else around it. Our favorite part of family worship is the music. Thanks to some friends we've found these awesome songs from Seeds Family Worship. The videos are lots of fun, the tunes are catchy but not annoying as other children music can be, and best of all it is straight scripture. Be sure to check out their website. They've got lots of great tools and ideas for teaching little ones the Bible. Here's a video of one of our favorites so far. Hope you enjoy! Be sure to scroll down and turn our blog music off before you start the video :)

I Serve A Risen Savior!

I am grateful and in awe as I reflect on the season of Easter. Jesus - without sin, guilt, or blemish - gave his life to me. The Father sacrificed His son for me. I look at my own son and I'm amazed at that sacrifice. How amazing his grace is. I'm overwhelmed as I realize that Jesus paid the ultimate sacrifice for me to commune with Him. Not only did He die for me, but He did it willingly. He is holy. He is living. He overcame the grave and tore the veal of separation. He defeated Satan and conquered death. He is unchanging. He is my provider, healer, and protector. He is above all and knows all. He is God, and He is coming again! Praise the Lord!

We had a wonderful Easter and we are still celebrating it. Friday night we went to the second annual Good Friday concert hosted by Passion City Church. It was awesome to say the least. A reflection of the cross and the victory that came through it. Saturday and Sunday were times of celebration. We spent time with family, went to Easter services at church, and of course hunted a few Easter eggs. We hope you all had a wonderful Easter and remembered why we celebrate it.

For Myself

This post is all about me...not to be obnoxious or anything, but since the beginning of the year I've started doing a few things for myself and this little post is just to document that. Feel free to continue to read or to browse my family/friend list for some more interesting posts. I promise not to get my feelings hurt. In January I started attending Bible Study Fellowship (BSF). I just want you all to know that it has been an amazing experience. As all you mamas know doing anything unrelated to your kids is almost impossible while they are awake, and while he would nap I would find myself doing dishes, laundry, preparing dinner, or taking a moment to myself in front of the t.v.. My Bible study time had become hit and miss to say the least. Through BSF I have found the Bible again. Each week we are giving a reading for each day and questions to reflect on. We meet once a week in discussion groups to discuss our questions and then attend a lecture on the reading. Not only has BSF held me accountable to study the Word, but it has encouraged me to study the Bible beyond just the surface. I am learning new things every week and trying to apply what I'm learning to my every day life. The other great thing about BSF is that they have childcare - for free! This isn't just any childcare, but they teach the children the same things I am studying, but on their own level. They teach the kids to listen and read the Word and to have a quiet time in prayer. Levi loves going and I'm so excited to see all he will be learning as he gets older. If you want to know more about BSF or where there are classes near you check out their website on the link above. The other thing I've started since the new year is working out. In today's culture you can't be oblivious to how important exercise is for your health, so I knew I had to make it more of a priority. After Levi was born I started walking on our street, but if it rained or was too cold the workout didn't happen. This past summer I re-injured my knee by spraining my ACL & MCL. I knew I had to strengthen my knee so exercise it was. Last month we joined the YMCA and I've been so happy with our choice. I thought this was going to be something I was going to have to force myself do, but I was wrong. I love going to the gym and working out. I've discovered that I can do more and push myself further than I thought. It has been great, and knowing that I'm going something good for myself make it even better. That's it for now, but here's to lots of new things to come! My blog won't let me do paragraphs today. Sorry for the one huge gigantic posting.

Life is Precious

On Friday, January 22, marked the 37th anniversary of Roe v. Wade. The Georgia Right to Life hosted their annual silent march on the steps of the state capital. Aaron and I are very passionate about life, and have made this rally part of our yearly family plans. Aaron's dad and sister, Cara, went with us this year. They started the rally with worship on the capital steps and then we heard from the speakers. We then watched what the reality of abortion has looked like over the past 37 years. In 1986 we lost 7 people in the Challenger explosion, but in that same year we lost 1,328,112 babies to abortion. In 1995 we lost 168 people in the Oklahoma City bombing, and in that same year we lost 1,210,883 babies to abortion. In the September 11 attacks we lost 2,973 precious lives, and in that same year 1,291,000 babies lost their lives. It is so sad to me that since the passing of Roe v. Wade there have been 50+ MILLION babies lost to abortion. To remember each of these babies they played Taps on the bugle and we marched through the streets of Atlanta. We marched in silence for those that don't have a voice. We marched because life is precious.

Celebrating the Season

We have been doing a lot of celebrating the last few weeks getting ready for the Christmas season. Here are a few of our Christmas decorations that we are enjoying this season. Last week we went to the Square in Covington with our small group friends. We enjoyed walking around all the stores, watching the carriage rides, and looking at all the lights and the big tree. It was a nice time of fellowship with our friends as well.

On Sunday we went to the Candlelight Service at Rockland. It was very special to be able to take a few moments during this busy time to reflect on the reason we celebrate Christmas. This year Aaron's family is spending Christmas in Texas with his grandparents, so it also gave us time to celebrate with them before they left.

Yesterday I took Levi to a birthday party for Jesus. We heard the Christmas story, decorated hearts to give to Jesus, made a manger scene, played musical chairs, and ate cake all to celebrate the birth of our Savior. It was a wonderful party. A big thanks to Hollie, Ashley, Katie, & Ivey for putting it on for us all.

We hope you all enjoy the magic this season brings and take time to share all the love and laughter with family that you can over the next few days. May the love of our Savior fill your home this Christmas and all through the new year.

Merry Christmas!

Recent...

So much has been going on with us lately. This week was drama week at Prospect, and Aaron played the role of Jesus again. He did a wonderful job, and I'm always so proud of him and the job he does in this role each year. This is one of my favorite pictures of Aaron from the drama. If you'd like to see some pictures of the drama you can check here. Today Beth headed to THAILAND! I am so proud of her and the sacrifice she is making to serve others in this world who need to see Jesus in others. I know she is super excited about what all God is going to do during her stay. While she is there she will be celebrating Christmas with all the girls and delivering their Christmas boxes from their sponsor families. Please be in prayer for her as she ministers at the House of Grace over the next 12 days.

P.S. Isn't she AMAZING?

And I almost forgot, but Levi is now 18 months old! I can't believe it! He is growing up SO fast. He has his 18 month appointment next week, so I'll post his stats and such then, but for now here is what he is up to...

• He is talking so much these days. He says: papa, mama, ball, basketball, dodger, baby, Jesus, uh oh, juice, set, go, two, three, and a few more. Some he says more than others. He also understands tons more words like waffle, help, milk, and simple commands, but hasn't said them yet.
• He knows his ears, nose, fingers, bellybutton, toes, mouth, and eyes (sometimes).
• He's pooped in the potty once. He's just starting the training, but we are so proud of him anyway.
• He smiles really big when you say "Cheese."
• He loves balloons, cars, VeggieTales, Christmas lights (thanks Ky for your yard), his doggie, and sticks.
• He eats most anything - and sometimes eats me out of house and home.
• He still signs 'please' and 'all done,' but hasn't used any other signs on a continuous basis.
• He is very friendly and always waves hi and bye to everyone we meet.
• He is a ham! He loves being the center of attention and laughing.
• He loves playing. He will play by himself, but loves when other play with him especially if they chase him.
• He has his first ear infection last week, but is doing much better.
• He has 16 teeth!! His i-teeth are finishing coming in, and that gives him 16 total. He is a champ at teething and hardly ever complains.
• He loves to throw things - sometimes good and bad - and he has a real strong arm.
• He loves outside and would spend all day out there if I would let him.
• He hates the car and would rather play than ride.
• He loves to read - anything. His favorite books right now are Here Come the Firefighters, Jane's Flying Expedition (both are pop-up books), and anything Dr. Seuss.

Richly Blessed

I have so much to be thankful for this year...

• I am thankful for a loving and understanding husband who is my partner and best friend through this life. He teaches me new things everyday and shows compassion and grace to me in my weakest moments. He cares for me when I'm down and rejoices with me when things are good. I am truly blessed among women.
• I am thankful for an amazing son who is smart, healthy, and brings great joy to my life. I cannot remember my life before him.
• I am thankful for wonderful family and amazing friends who love me for me.
• I am thankful that we have a warm home, food to eat, healthy bodies, my husband's good job, my job as mommy, our church, new friends and old, our educations, our freedoms, and so much more.
• Most of all I'm thankful for the sacrifice of our Savior. Because of His gift of sacrifice we have eternal life. Through him we can have joy in time of sorrow, and peace in time of confusion. I am so thankful to be called His Own.

Happy Thanksgiving to Everyone!

Because of the Cross

Jesus has overcome

And the grave is overwhelmed

The victory is won

He is risen from the grave

This Easter was very busy, but very exciting and enjoyable for our family. Growing up, Easter was always just one day of celebration rather than a season of remembering. As our walk with the Lord grows stronger and deeper, we have really began to see the importance of remembering Easter for the true events it represents. Aaron & I really want Levi to grow up learning the significance of Easter and what it signifies and celebrates. We started this year's celebration by attending a Passover Sadar. It was very interesting and is extremely symbolic in the rememberance of Good Friday & Easter. They had a drama in the beginning and then we attended the sadar. Jesus washing the Disciples feet and the Passover plate.

On Friday we continued our celebration by attending the Good Friday at Verizon Concert. The concert included Chris Tomlin, Matt Redman, Christy Nockels, Israel Hougton & The New Breed, and Louie Giglio. It was an awesome celebration of the sacrifice Christ paid on the cross for us. We sang and worshipped our Savior with fellow believers. The weather that day had been pretty nasty with tornado warnings and lots and lots of rain. However, the weather cleared up and and concert was amazing. We had such a wonderful time. I think the following Chris Tomlin lyrics sums up the day:

He became sin who knew no sin

That we might become His Righteousness

He humbled himself and carried the cross

Love so amazing, Love so amazing

Jesus Messiah

Name above all names

Blessed Redeemer

Emmanuel

The rescue for sinners

The ransom from Heaven

Jesus Messiah Lord of all

His body the bread

His blood the wine

Broken and poured out all for love

The whole earth trembled And the veil was torn

Love so amazing, Love so amazing

Sunday morning the celebration continued. We went to church and then spent the rest of the day with family. We had lunch with my family and then dinner with Aaron's family. Levi hunted a few eggs and we had a great time being with our families. When we went home Aaron & I began watching The Passion of the Christ movie. Here are a few pictures from the day.

Aaron & Levi hunting eggs.

Our family all dressed up. Levi playing with the egg he found.

Red Envelope Day

Yesterday, March 31st, was Red Envelope Day. Red Envelope Day is a peaceful protest against abortion. We are asking everyone to send red envelopes to President Obama to show him how important this issue is to his constituents. The envelopes are mailed empty with the following message written on the back.

You can mail your envelopes to:

President Barack Obama

The White House

1600 Pennsylvania Ave. NW

Washington, D.C. 20500

Aaron & I were unable to mail our envelopes yesterday, so we are mailing them today. I don't think it will matter if they are mailed a little late, so go grab a handful and put them in the mail!

Right to Life

Today we attended the Georgia Right to Life March in downtown Atlanta. It was awesome. The Right to Life organization speaks out against the unjustice being done to our unborn children through abortion. We gathered today to because it is the anniversary of Roe v. Wade (1973) which legalized abortion in the United States. It is estimated that since 1973 there have been 48 million babies aborted in the United States. Approximately 24% of all pregnancies in the U.S. end in abortion. Those numbers alone were cause enough for us to join the GRTL today. We met on the Capital steps for praise and worship, and then had a series of speakers, one of which was the niece of Martin Luther King, Jr. She herself has had two abortions, was about to have a third, and the men in her family stepped in and convinced her otherwise. She now speaks out against abortion realizing the devastating effects it has on the unborn and the mother. After the speakers we participated in a silent one mile march in memory of those that have fallen victim to abortion. Everyone participating was so quiet and respectful as we marched around the streets of Atlanta. As we began the march they played the sound of a heartbeat. They then played Taps on the trumpet, and continued to play it as we walked our mile. It really made what we were doing seem real. I was so touched to see how many people came out to support the cause. Aaron & I have had a burning passion to see abortion outlawed in the United States, and would encourage everyone to join the cause in your own state. We can make a difference if we stand united under Christ and claim His promises for the unborn. Even with the bitter cold, today was totally worth it. It only ignited my passion more. Below are some of my favorite images from the day.

Jesus, I plead your blood over my sins, and the sins of my nation.

God, end abortion. Send revival to America!

Let Them Eat Turkey!

As you can tell, we had a wonderful Thanksgiving. We spent the afternoon with Aaron's family and enjoyed a wonderful lunch. Afterwards we all went a played ultimate frisbee. During the evening we spent time with my family. My Aunt Debra fixed a delicious Thanksgiving meal that we shared, and then we played a few games.

This holiday season is special for us because of Levi. Today we were reminded just how blessed we are to have him in our lives. It is easy to look back and see how the hard and difficult times brought us to where we are. Only then are we truly grateful for the hardships we face. God is always faithful! Levi is a constant reminder to our family that God is faithful through it all. His goodness never ceases. Thank you God for your many blessings!